Life is Beautiful

"What you are comes to you."-Ralph Waldo Emerson

2012-01-20T10:54:00.000-06:00

It's been forever and a day since I last wrote on here.
Lots of changes.
My sister is now working in my old department,which is pretty nifty.
I am one semester away from student teaching.
In preparation to take the Praxis II-a scary thought in itself.

Tommy and Brettany got married.
So did Josh and Sarah.
Daniel and I celebrated our 7 Year Anniversary at Jimm's Steakhouse, Springfield 11 watching The Devil Inside, and eating delicious ice cream from Coldstone.

A recent development-I discovered I'm not as great of a writer as I originally thought.
This is upsetting while also humbling.

One day at a time.

“If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.” -John Maxwell

2011-07-14T21:42:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, I would like for those of you reading this to watch this touching video. If no one watches it, at least I will have it here to watch at my disposal.

Things around here have changed somewhat.
We have a whole new bed, and mattress set- the first of which being rather tall and is at the top of my list for things awesome about beds.
We also have Mister "Sulley", our blue beta fish. I think he thinks he is a model.
As of tomorrow, I will be adopting Stevie's bunny, Frank. Pictures will come soon of both.
I have been watching "True Blood", and it is as good if not better than expected.
Our 6 1/2 year anniversary came up this past Monday, and was lovely!
Hm....let's see..oh yeah....my lovely lady,Shaina is engaged. Woot :).
And for big news....
I am officially working for BloodGasses!!
This was a big, if somewhat "random" change for me. I have been feeling the need to do more hands-on "care", and the perfect opportunity presented itself.
This first week of training has been rather early and the days are long. I am soaking it all up and enjoying each step in the process.

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” - Robert Heinlein

2011-06-06T15:43:00.002-05:00

Life has been great. Summers are full of: Wild dreams, looking forward to and seeing great movies, more time with friends, family and my love and at the same time more time to get hours in at work.

I had an interesting dream last night. It was a mixture of so many different things. One part was me not having a speech prepared for Elizabeth's wedding, another part was me running around trying to find my shawl and shoes right before I was going to walk out for Sarah's wedding. Another part included me being in this blogger Elsie's wedding-I think her dress had wings just like the girl from X-Men that we saw. So very weird.

How my previous week went:
Monday- went to the lake with Tt and a new friend of hers, followed by Bulgolgi and dessert with the fam.

Tuesday-got to sleep in with Daniel, followed by getting my car battery fixed, seeing The Hangover II, cleaning, a 4 hour nap, and getting some tasty lunch at Steak&Shake.

Wednesday- Spent the last day@ Disney serving ice cream to the kiddos and swapping presents with the teacher. She gave me a teacher post-it note set, a card, and a giftcard to start my classroom. The time spent in her classroom was one of the most fulfilling experiences.

Thursday- I went window shopping with Eliz, followed by watching Dead Man---I didn't care for it too much,honestly.

Friday-Picked up Joplin t-shirts@work, went shopping at various places, did the gym and lunch with my dad.

Saturday- Aside from working, spent some time with the madre and found some fantastic finds at DAV-including a Betsey Johnson purse for $7! I also discovered a fantastic new energy drink-more on that later.

Sunday-saw X-Men: First Class (which was AMAZING), ate@Rocco's with the fam, and watched the MTV Movie Awards...only to see the clips from Breaking Dawn,of course.

Next month on the 11th, Daniel and I will be celebrating 6 & 1/2 years together.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

2011-05-09T09:31:00.000-05:00

Mother's Day 2011 was a fantastic day, although Sister wasn't there to celebrate with us.
Among other things that happened:
I went with Sarah's family to do some wedding dress shopping.

This is the dress I and the maid of honor will be wearing. I am so excited to see how it is going to turn out.
Daniel, Mom, Dad & I went to Artsfest. Although humid, we were distracted by all of the cute doggies.
Afterwards, we ate at Texas Roadhouse. I went into a temporary food coma.
On behalf of me, Daniel, Bren and I got mom a card, flowers, a gift card to a spa (that I won ^_^), and a sweet Philosophy bath set.
To round out the day, Daniel and I went to see Thor, and followed that up by me finding Thor and MortalKombat shirts. The shirts and movie were equally awesome!

Also, this week is FINALS week. I am very much looking forward to the end of this semester and the start of my summer break.

Where you can visit my blog a little easier

2011-01-13T21:54:00.000-06:00

Follow my blog with bloglovin

One of the most beautiful pieces of writing deserves a post.

2010-12-23T11:22:00.000-06:00

"Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect the shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes.
In the version of grief we imagine, the model will be "healing." A certain forward movement will prevail. The worst days will be the earliest days. We imagine that the moment to most severely test us will be the funeral, after which this hypothetical healing will take place. When we anticipate the funeral we wonder about failing to "get through it," rise to the occasion, exhibit the "strength" that invariably gets mentioned as the correct response to death.
We anticipate needing to steel ourselves the for the moment: will I be able to greet people, will I be able to leave the scene, will I be able even to get dressed that day? We have no way of knowing that this will not be the issue. We have no way of knowing that the funeral itself will be anodyne, a kind of narcotic regression in which we are wrapped in the care of others and the gravity and meaning of the occasion. Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief was we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself."
— Joan Didion (The Year of Magical Thinking)

“What we anticipate seldom occurs, what we least expected generally happens.”-Benjamin Disraeli

2010-12-01T10:25:00.000-06:00

So very excited for what the next couple of months will bring.

Between right now and say...Late January, here's some big things going on in my life:
-Finals
-Friend Christmas Party (SO many people,...should be fun though)
-Dr's appointment to see how jacked my internals are functioning
-Differen't Dr.'s appt to check out my externals (skin and such)
-Tat with the sis (her first, my fourth)
-Going part time at work (and possibly picking up hours doing something school-related!)
-6 Year Anniversary and pictures (and such)
-Two friends weddings
-and of course, new semester at school, Christmas, Daniel's 24th Birthday, and Tommy's Birthday/PPV that I haven't been able to see for years.

I will keep you all (or at least a reminder to myself) of how all of these events go.

All the world is a laboratory to the inquiring mind. ~Martin H. Fischer

2010-10-27T08:52:00.000-05:00

Today has been quite the day already, and it has barely just begun.
Here's a short rundown of what has happened thus far and will go on the rest of the day.

-Woke up around 4:45am (about 4 hours of sleep,give or take).
-Had a work meeting at 6am.
-Came to school around 7,waited until 8 to work on my paper.
-Have a meeting with my advisor at ten.
-Music class test.
-Practicum.
-Movie with Daniel.

"I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out, so I would just scream." -Temple Grandin

2010-10-13T12:02:00.000-05:00

First of all, those of you who read my blog-Thanks for doing so. I would love for you individuals to leave comments, just to say "Hey" or giving your two cents.

Life overall has been enjoyable, with a few pitfalls along the way.
+ One minor frustration was trying to make schedules work with seeing friends. We can't have everything and I know that, but sometimes-as I vocalized to Miss Danielle- I need more than just a "chat" or "text"...I need face-to-face contact and conversation. It is getting better though.

+ School is going well-time is still an issue, as far as making it for assignments and reading. Overall though, I'm loving it.
Speaking of which, after my last co-op teacher quit suddenly, I recently got re-placed into a Kindergarten class. Not an age level I am used to being around, but a day into it, I am already loving it!

+ I have been having personal health issues that have yet to be "fixed"--very....very...frustrating. One step at a time, but I'm not giving up. We have to be our own advocates,that's for sure.

+ As of recently I have been having bouts of feeling "gross", "selfish", "left out", and a few other general feelings, most of the time all at once. It sucks and makes me highly cranky.

There have been some wonderful things happening, such as getting surprised by Daniel about a month ago, with flowers and a beautiful key necklace..."just because".

First Day of School-Fall 2010

2010-08-23T10:50:00.000-05:00

I'm in the Mac writing lab at school, killing time before my next class-with about two hours to kill. My first class this morning-Intro to Elementary Ed with Field Experience was already awesome. My teacher had a very odd sense of humor, but was so enjoyable and helped me feel more at ease.
Just sitting in the classroom with all of the other Elementary Ed teachers-to-be, I really felt like I belonged-that these were "my people". This is definitely what I should have been doing all along.
Let's just hope the rest of the classes this semester are equally as awesome as that one was. No "getting to know you"/group assignments. Those of you who actually enjoy that kind of torture are insane!!
Once I get my own classroom, I'm going to make sure my ways of getting to know students and them getting to know one another isn't nearly as awkward as I've felt in similar situations.
The only negative thing I have to say about today is that my lower back is "jacked" yet again, and is only getting worse. I'd like to say that it's due to working out improperly (ie leg machines at a particular gym), but something tells me (as well as my parents) that it's due to tension and/or stress. The last week alone at work has put me over the edge, so I guess I could definitely attribute all of this nasty pain to that. Thanks to those of you who attributed to it.
There's not much else I can talk about just yet. I might be back later tonight with more updates.

“An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing.” - Samuel Smiles

2010-08-03T10:48:00.001-05:00

I am the self-proclaimed "Queen of Anticipation"- kind of silly, I'm sure, but I am the biggest nerd as far as looking forward to things. It's almost more exciting than experiencing the item/event itself. Another way to look at it would be that I thrive on change.
I am looking forward to this semester of school to begin-and have realized, after having my first summer sans school since High School graduation, that I LOVE the routine that school brings. Nevermind the anxiety it brings-working with strangers, completing assignments, making the grade. And although I said I thrive on change, followed by loving the routine of school- I mean that I love the new events a new school semester/year brings us. It's never the same, and always exciting-regardless if some of the classes suck.

Speaking of change,a few things have been happening: One coworker has started Cosmetology School, while another is leaving-opening up a spot at work, all the while making me and all of my coworkers nervous.
Babies are being made in my extended circle of friends.
Elsie and her sister,Emma are going to be opening up a store around Halloween where The Style is located, filled with crafts, vintage, and a bakery-with BOBA TEA! Yummmmmmm!
My hair is quite a bit shorter, and I love it!

I've also been (slowly) stocking up on dresses. Figured I should look more professional for the schools I'll be visiting, and hope that my wardrobe is up to par.

On a completely random note, I not-so-secretly want to get my nose pierced. We'll see how that goes school/work wise.

and while we're there this is the next tattoo I'm planning on saving up for. Since I can't find the exact model of what I'm going for, a proper substitute will give you a good idea of what I'm wanting (courtesy of unitync.net). It will be a globe with wings-and has a pretty awesome personal meaning for me. Very, very excited for this.

I'd also like for you to meet our pets, Allison and Xavier.
...I wish.
These awesome guys are from the St. Louis Zoo, where we spent the day celebrating our 5 1/2 year Anniversary.
There are plenty of of other pictures/stories from that trip, as well as some awesome purchases since then, but I'll spare the lengthy details for the moment.

And before I forget.....

THREE WEEKS BEFORE SCHOOL!!!!!!!

“Only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit.” -Chuck Palahniuk

2010-07-27T11:53:00.000-05:00

Via my cousin,Shane, I discovered an amazing site called TED.com. It's filled with inspiring speeches and performances from Scientists, Authors, Musicians, etcetera.

This is one of the best notes I've ever received:
So what if you don't have it yet, Courtney?

It's coming. You're gonna get it. You're gonna love it. And then you're gonna forget there was ever a time when you didn't have it.

Like clockwork.

I know,
The Universe

This summer has been fantastic as far as catching up on movie/tv series watching.
Completed S&TC. Half way through BurnNotice Season One (Still need to finish this one,as long as we've had it).
Dvds:Jesus Camp, From Paris with Love, Everything is Illuminated, The Lovely Bones, Thank You for Smoking, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Blindside, Saving Private Ryan, (rewatched)-BeetleJuice, MirrorMask,Alice in Wonderland, Coraline, many more I'm sure..
Over half of these are thanks to my lovely friend, Sarah, who has shared her movie-watching experiences with me. & I am loving it.

As far as movie watching at the theatre goes, I have watched more than I care to remember. However, Inception definitely ranks high on the list of good ones.

This summer has been eye-opening as well. I have spent more quality time with (most) of my girls, got to see my awesome cousins, learned to let go of certain hang-ups that have been wearing me down, and had wonderful personal experiences that have sent me over the moon.
Deep, powerful conversations, as well as wisdom are the essences of life.

2010-07-19T08:42:00.001-05:00

There's nothing like a Pom-Blue jet tea after a great workout. That is all^_^.

“Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.” -Chuck Palahniuk

2010-06-29T11:07:00.000-05:00

Life has been nothing but busy lately, but so very exciting at the same time.
-Sister is out of town for Cornerstone.
-Mom is also out of town for EPIC training.
-Tt and I are going to the Eclipse opening, and I am super pumped!
-Shaina, Emma, Andrew, Dusty, and Christine are all in the process of moving.
-Tt got the job she wanted!!
-Dyell had some great news for me:)!
-We'll be celebrating 4th of July with my parents, Tim,Daniel, Timmy, Josh and Sarah (and maybe others...) and I'm extremely excited for all of that to go down.
-My boss had her son a week early! Welcome baby Benjamin!!
- to add to that, I've also picked up some hours at work, since she'd been scheduled to be there.

and overall had some great talks/quality time with everyone. I'm thankful for the opportunities to be able to spend more time with everyone this summer.

The main agenda for the rest of the summer is to celebrate Daniel and I's 5 and 1/2 year Anniversary at the St. Louis Zoo, pay him back all the money that I owe him, and possibly fit in a day of camping/kayaking.

And I don't know where I'm going, but I know it's going fast.

2010-06-24T10:45:00.000-05:00

Movie Updates:
When I said Toy Story 2 in a previous post, I meant to say Toy Story 3-which was AMAZING. My opinion is probably the minority, but I think it was much better than the 2nd.
Sex & The City 2 was entertaining, and the guys were looking good. Honestly, that's about it. Discussing it was Danielle- I agree that it didn't feel right because the whole movie revolved around nothing that had to do with NYC. That and the dialogue most of the time seemed forced and tad off.
Nightmare on Elm Street was good, but by no means great. It was well made, but he was much more of a pervert in this version.
I never got to see Babies, but hopefully I'll be able to find it for cheap/for rent soon.
Eclipse is coming up next Wednesday-and if all goes well, I'll be seeing it opening night.

Lots of things have been happening over the past few months-Carrie Underwood concert, Mother's & Father's Day, Birthdays, Surprise Engagements/Weddings, and plenty of craziness at work- and I'll leave it at that.
I'd also like to note that my wonderful lady friend, Danielle, did her 1st official haircut on me at the Paul Mitchell School and she did a fabulous job!

I live for quotes like this.

2010-06-12T22:28:00.000-05:00

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it. -Roald Dahl

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”-Thomas Jefferson

2010-05-24T12:51:00.000-05:00

SO many things going on right now, I'm just enjoying the ride.

-A friend of mine is looking into the Baha'i temple here in town, which I'm excited about. I'm always open to visiting different churches.
-I'm going to start taking Zumba classes with my mom, which sounds like a lot of fun!
I've also been going to the gym and/or working out almost every day for the past two weeks.Woot!

Today has been awesome so far. I'm really starting to enjoy Mondays.
-Took a bike ride around a few blocks this morning.
-Got some ideas and some great news while shopping with someone. Can't give details, but I'm excited and hoping they make the purchase!
-Had maintenance come fix our toilet (after almost two weeks).
-Started on cleaning.
-Made some awesome Jerk Chicken and brown sugar Green Beans. Yum!
This was all done by 11-Alright!!

I've also decided that a great middle name for my future child-be it a girl- would be Raven-- Coraline Raven. Love It!

Speaking of which, I made the personal decision, after doing some investigating, to quit taking my prescription-In hopes that it will help wean my other "issues". One week down, so far so good.

Just a side note, if anyone else gets engaged (aside from a select few), I'm gonna sock 'em. Haha, seriously though.

Plenty of things going on the next couple of weeks. Here's to everything going well.

"It's doing your passion and fulfilling your passion. You know. That's how we're thankful. That's how we say we appreciate the opportunity to be alive." - Lauryn Hill

2010-05-11T11:19:00.000-05:00

So, Daniel's trip to Mexico for two weeks came and went. He's on his way to being promoted to General Manager/Assistant General Manager. We're both very excited, and I'm very proud of him.

School is over, for me anyway, as of today. The possible worst final has been scrapped, due to a surprisingly good grade in my class. Now I wait for my last professor to determine my grade-should be an A, but we'll see.

Yesterday ended up being an AMAZING Monday, and a wonderful start to the week (Sunday, you don't count).
My Psychology final ended up being fairly easy, I made BIG BANK on my books I decided to sell back-thus allowing me to take my sister out for her graduation present, and pay Daniel back with the remainder. We went to Umi, along with her friend. It was rather tasty, although the waiter was terrible and the decor was an odd mixture of pirates and Christmas (???....).
I found my Avenue magazine,after scouring several places (Woot!).
Then, my last final turned out to practically be a replica of the practice test. I also got a "B" on my Final Project, which was great considering how nervous I was about the lack of recommendations and comparing/contrasting that I wrote.

After worrying about money for what seemed like forever, a wonderful opportunity fell into my lap. I was offered to switch to Full-time at work so another co-worker could work my part-time hours. It ended up working very well with my school schedule as well, and should continue to be for most of the remainder of my schooling (2 1/2 years).

So, after I pay Daniel back for bills and assistance, my plans this summer are to:

Buy one of the Hello Kitty Embossed purses I fell in love with. The hard part is choosing a color. Any suggestions?? (p.s., I discovered the red version minutes ago!)

-Courtesy of Amazon.com & Polyvore.com

I'm planning on getting my sister her 1st tattoo for her 18th birthday, which is pretty exciting. If it works out well, I might get a small one too.
Since two of my three are words/quotes, I have a plan I've been sitting on for a while, as well as a compilation of ideas that I've had for others.
I've always wanted to get a blackbird, a dove, and a cardinal- for numerous reasons, and I love the song "Three Little Birds", so I thought why not have a tattoo designed with all three birds. The hard part is figuring where to put it and how they should be arranged.
Should there be a silhouette of a doorstep, or a branch? Any suggestions??

I'd also like to squeeze in a possible trip to St. Louis, to show off the museums to Daniel.

& some camping of course-possibly at the lakehouse with Sarah & Josh.

There's been so much else going on, that I'm bound to forgot most of it.
-Saw Lovely Bones -good although not what I expected
-Saw Jesus Camp--very freaky but good
-Saw IronMan 2--AMAZING! I want to see it again.
-Saw The Descent 2-Scary yet Hilarious.
-Saw The Royal Tenanbaums- I surprisingly ended up liking it a lot;had a lot of reservations about it.
-Rewatched Death At A Funeral- still LOVE that movie.

On the List to see:
Sex & The City 2
Nightmare on Elm Street
Babies
Toy Story 2
Eclipse

*I know I'm missing several, but these are at the top of my list.

Proof that you never know what tomorrow will bring...

2010-03-23T12:29:00.004-05:00

But FIRST...

I think there should be a cafe that strictly serves Boba Tea and Crepes.
I would make sure to have one of each every day!

Now back to the purpose of my post...

I've been taking three Special Education classes for a little over half a semester now. They've been real eye-openers in the sense that I'm starting to really understand the "jobs" of a Special Education Teacher.
However, I didn't visualize this job as less of a "teacher", and more of a "behavior documentor" and "test administrator".
Don't get me wrong... I ADORE children with special needs, and I think they deserve to receive more out of their education than they do. I have the belief that they all deserve to be in the general classroom, integrated with all other children, in order to build social skills, relationships, all the while having help from students and Teacher Aids and/or Special Education teachers.
I truly hope I'll have the opportunities to make this happen.

So...long story short... I have made my final decision.. I'm an Elementary Education Major with an Emphasis in Special Education.
Eventually I will get my Master's, probably in Reading.

Wish me luck as I make this journey.

"I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them."-Samuel Beckett

Told Ya I'd Be Back!

2010-03-18T15:57:00.009-05:00

Christmas was very good this year, although it seems different the older I get and the less I am a child. The attention the grandchildren get is something I used to get, but enjoy their company and seeing my family dote on them.
It was our first Christmas without Nana, which will always feel off to me, but keeping her memories helps.

It was Daniel and My First Christmas at the apartment, and it was awesome. The only thing I remember being awful was having to drive to my parent's for breakfast, only to get stuck, and drive back. Luckily, my car handled the roads well.
Here's some pictures at our place enjoying some of our favorite gifts:
Daniel-Chris Jericho tee
Me-Lady Gaga The Fame Monster

Daniel's 23rd Birthday was lots of fun, although 1) I did a poor job of socializing 2)I probably could've kept the tradition going with wrestling themed birthdays, but I wanted to be different.
That being said, I'm rather proud of how the themed foods turned out, namely the Meatwad cake and Mooninite rice krispies.

The Christmas Party about a week prior was lots of fun as well, although I was beat tired by the time everyone left.

New Year's was lots of fun at Tommy and Brettany's. The game of Password got dirty and out of hand; PopFive was just as interesting.

Nana's Birthday was January 19th, and I paid tribute to her a day late at the cemetery. I am beyond proud to have experienced such an amazing example of marriage, love, and devotion to family that my Nana and Papa lived.

Yeah Yeah It's been a while

2010-03-18T09:49:00.010-05:00

It's been a good while since my last post. I just had a website overload for a while- of my sites, and others-and just wasn't up for writing I guess.
On a good note, I deleted my Myspace, which was sadly such a relief. It became too boring, and I needed to wipe my metaphorical slate clean of all my past "stuff" on there.

To update from the last post:
The picture on the right is the Fried Chocolate Pie from JR's BBQ in Oklahoma. Totally sinful, and probably one of the best desserts I've ever eaten. This alongside some of the best BBQ (of course) we've ever had were devoured Saturday, January 9th, as an early celebration for our Five Year Anniversary.
We left with a cookbook, many bottles of barbecue sauce, and a sense of accomplishment.
On our way back, we stopped in Joplin, got some Orange Julius at the mall, and discovered the MASSIVE Vintage Stock that moved in at the end. Too bad our mall doesn't have one; it was pretty sweet.

Valentine's Day was awesome. I got my "What to Expect..." parody book, and Daniel got his Undertaker action figure he wanted.

The picture on the right is from Elimination Chamber, Sunday February 21st in St. Louis. Three Hours of waiting outside wasn't exactly fun, but being 8 rows from the ring was AMAZING! I'm definitely excited to see us on the dvd.

Also to note: Daniel and I got ourselves some Cheesecake Factory dessert for the first time. He got some Peanut Butter Cup pie and I got some Banana Cream pie. His was peanut buttery to the extreme; mine was light and tasty. I also left with a black jacket from H&M, and some great pictures from Union Station of the boys.

To backtrack, my 22nd birthday was so much fun. My parents,Daniel and I had lunch at RedRobin, which was super tasty. We celebrated with a Hello Kitty Cake afterwards at the apartment.
Yes, if you're reading this, the name on my cake is my childhood nickname. Bonus points to whoever knows the reference,haha.

More to come, related to Christmas, Daniel's 23rd Birthday, and New Years. But for now, I must get ready for the gym.
I shall also return with new music.

Hello 2010!

2009-12-21T11:41:00.003-06:00

There's so many things to look forward to in the next few months.

January brings us Daniel and I's 5 Year Anniversary. AWESOME!!
Since I have school all day on the 11th, we're making plans for the weekend previous to travel to JR's BBQ in Oklahoma.

February brings us Valentines Day, my 22nd Birthday, and the WWE PPV in St. Louis. I'm very excited for the latter event.

In the last days of this year, we have Christmas, Daniel's 23rd Birthday, and New Years. I'm excited to see how well my plans turn out for his birthday foods and decorations.

Here's to the Future...

2009-12-11T13:49:00.002-06:00

This is the last week before finals at school, and I'm thrilled that I've been able to not only enjoy my classes, but also learn valuable things and make decent grades!
I know I have only completed one semester here, but just taking these classes alone, I know and feel that choosing Education-specifically Special Education-was my calling all along.
The next semester, and the next few to follow, make me a little anxious as to how I am going to grow in my classes and field work. A very good kind of anxiety though.

Movies,As of Lately

2009-12-06T10:49:00.002-06:00

Dead Snow-absolutely AMAZING. It is officially in the list of my "favorite movies".

The Orphan-was very good, but so much creepier than I had envisioned.

Brothers-intense, but reflective at the same time. It really let Toby shine. I loved it, and it made me think of my friends in the military overseas, and what they're going through.

Be Italian!

2009-12-01T10:48:00.003-06:00

I am SO very much looking forward to these movies:
Nine
Shutter Island
Sherlock Holmes
The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassius
The Lovely Bones

Oh geeze!!

Everything I do, I do it for You

2009-11-29T10:23:00.002-06:00

I'm feeling extremely selfish, and at the very same time unable to live up to someone else's expectations imposed on me of someone else.

The problem is mainly in perception. I am extremely grateful of my group of friends right now,and all that they do for us. Yet, part of me still wants MORE, strives for perfection. I need to truly be happy with what is going on and with what I've got, instead of thinking there is something I need to do,that I've done something wrong.
No matter how much effort you put into other relationships sometimes, your expectations will not always be met the way you want them to-and in my case, I have somewhat high expectations.

Over the past few months, through work and my personal life, I have learned to have low expectations for some people and situations because you will be let down, and you can't take it personally. It is one of the absolute hardest concepts for me to really take to heart, and take seriously.

Some of my stress has been due to somewhat self-imposed stress with finances. I am very grateful for my family helping me out with everything, and Daniel for being a true caretaker in every sense of the word. He enjoys cooking, cleans, and has taken care of most of our bills, especially while I'm paying off my car and going to school, while working part time.
I am blessed for what I have, and for where my life is going; I just need to remind myself of that-especially when I start feeling low.

Year of A Thousand Beginnings & A Thousand More Endings

2009-10-07T11:35:00.001-05:00

I can't make sense of this:
-Nana
-Kathy
-Daisy
-Daniel's uncle
-Uncle Tim
-Russ
-MJ

Why??

I can't, I can't stop crying Everyday I'm so afraid Afraid of dying

Bella Notte

2009-09-17T10:44:00.004-05:00

Listening to Madonna's new song is propelling this good mood I'm in, especially considering I only had four hours of sleep. The Yeah Yeah Yeah's new cd is groovin' me in a good way as well.
The Used cd is pretty good,but almost very monotonous in a way. Of course I can't forget The Dead Weather--the cd is full of richness and texture.

Seeing my friends more often has been really nice. Moving has weighed out things in a nice way. I've been seeing a lot more of Danielle, Emma, Shaina, and Daniel's friends as well. I'm even picking back up with old friends--like Kara that just moved back from Texas. This thrills me to no end.

School is going well so far. I now feel like an actual student-part of a community and I'm really enjoying it. One big difference between MSU and OTC is that more people give a crap, and I don't know if that's partially due to the fact that I'm getting more specialized in the classes I'm taking.

Today is going to be a productive sort of day. I started working on my list of to-do's for now and the near future. Lists, I've learned, keep me and my sanity in check and I HIGHLY promote them!!!

Living with Daniel is nicer than I imagined,in a way, it flowed very naturally, and we are enjoying the new experiences and learning from each other.

The World has been thrown into a tizzy.

2009-07-02T10:59:00.002-05:00

It's hard to explain how change affects us personally. Change comes in the form of death, life goals, big moves,weddings, and so forth.

It's hard to really sit back and think about all of the major changes that have affected me this year, immensely so.
In January,Nana turned 80,and this was such a great event. One though that crossed my mind,as it did from time to time, was, "I wonder what it will feel like without her", or "I wonder how long she will live",considering the age of some of my older relatives. It never went farther than that.

Another big event was me getting into Nursing school, followed by Nana telling me that she always knew that I would be one. I received the news exactly a week after I almost gave up.

Two incredibly big events took place in May. My great aunt Kathy passed away from a chronic illness. I had not seen her in years, and the only recent updates I had on her were pictures of her withering away to a smaller shell of what she was. This broke my heart, partially because she resembled my great-grandmother that I had been so close to. I was unable to attend her funeral,due to a number of reasons.

The death of my great aunt and how I was affected by it was greatly overshadowed by the death of my Nana, my role model, the rock of the family,and one of the most beautiful spirits I have ever had the opportunity to have in my life. The decline in her health declined over what seemed like the longest week of my life. The improvements and declines were changing so quickly,it was hard to keep everyone updated.
It was a dark few days following her death,but the ultimate thing I was blessed was being in the room with her as she passed. I felt her spirit come through me and into me,and I knew she was free of her pain and suffering and she wanted me to be happy.
There hasn't been a day since that I haven't thought about her, and every day I wake up thinking,"Did this really happen?"

At the end of the school semester, a blessing occurred. I didn't make a passing grade in my class,thus knocking me out of the Nursing program. I was relieved of all of my negative feelings towards the school and everything that had to do with it.
I had a few moments where I was upset that I had let myself and everyone else down, especially my Nana who believed in me.

The transition from Nursing to Teaching was gradual,but it all fell into place rather quickly. I was torn as to what my next step was to be,but I ultimately decided that my role fell into teaching, and that Science-based careers were just not going to be my strong suit.

The next couple of months,up to now, brought me several incredible changes in my personal life.
In June,I talked with an advisor about Elementary Education,and that I had an interest in Special Education. She told me all that entailed Special Education,the differences between the two, and ultimately helped me decide that Special Education was my calling. The journey I am about to embark on is something I never even thought as part of my "plan",which is the best part of it all.

Somewhere around June,I got into a deep funk,which lead to me getting a pinched nerve in my lower back,and put me out for a couple of weeks.
Most of it was stress and tension by some outside issues going on, although a little part of my funk had to do with the fact that I felt somewhat "left out" of all these changes that everyone seemed to be going through:marriage,moving out,babies,etc.
Another low point,but necessary event that had to happen was putting our pug,Daisy,down in June. Her health had deteriorated so much over the past few months that we had to make the best decision,and end her suffering.

Around that same time,one of the best things happened this year so far. A chain of events lead to Daniel and I looking into some apartments,and---as luck would have it, SO many things fell into place,and we received news that we got our apartments!We are moving in mid August, and while I have a lot on my plate up until then(buying/getting all of the items ready for moving,saving up $,getting utilites/cable/etc set up, all while preparing for the end of my class,and getting ready to start MSU,and changing my address for all of these places),I am very much looking forward to starting up our new place, and all of the wonderful changes that will bring.

The most recent event that hit me hard was the passing of Michael Jackson. There is so much I could say about him that has happened between weeks prior to his passing up to today. What I can safely say is that although his death has changed my "outlook" and view on things, I can feel his spirit within me and he has reminded me how much I love music. He will live on in all of us.

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.- Dalai Lama

2009-06-25T11:29:00.002-05:00

What a day it has been so far!

Let me back up a little bit,and start with yesterday. I recieved (MUCH earlier than I'd anticipated)my award from MSU,and if I have my numbers right, they are covering me and then some with the loan.I was told that I can deduct some if I don't need all of it,but I figure to take the whole reward,and have leftover for any possible supplies through the semester.

Today turned out to be one of the better days I've had in a while.
I took my math test,and it turned out much better than I thought. The new GO magazine came out(It's the little things that make me happy.)We will see in a few days how that went. Then, I received the awesome news that we were approved for the apartments and have our address!!! After such awesome news(& to quench? my headache)I picked up some SLAP and pb twix,& I've been chilling at home ever since. The only things left to do is pack for KC, finish up this school business,and work.
Woot woot!!

Everything you want to change about yourself.All your parts of yourself that you keep secret.It's your power.It's who you are.

2009-06-17T10:32:00.003-05:00

Let's see...
-Friday was one of the CRAZIEST days in terms of emotions and physical roller-coasters.Spending time with my Emma helped take my mind off things,and the prospective(?)news about the apartments helped put me in a better mood.
-Saturday ended up being much better,for the most part.
-Sunday was a pretty awesome day overall. Hit the gym,spent some time with Daniel and bought a sheet set,bed frame,and got ideas. Wyatt's birthday party was fun,although rather hot.
-Monday was eventful. After class,I checked out the apartments with my mom,which turned out to be a lot better than I had imagined. Then I hit the gym,got a free smoothie,brought the good news to Daniel @ his work,gorged on Qdoba chips&dip,hit up the library, chilled at the park,then spent the rest of the night with my boy.
Tuesday was rather eventful, although I spent the day in agonizing pain. I'll spare most of the details,but the bed and desk are awesome!!

Today,I've called into work so my pinched nerve in my back can heal. It'll give me some ample time to catch up on my math class, as well as process my MSU packet! Woot Woot!

Very much loving SYTYCD!!
Looking forward to PUBLIC ENEMIES &:

'Fame' Theatrical Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

“When you’ve exhausted all possibilities, remember this—you haven’t.” -Robert H. Schuller

2009-06-15T14:26:00.003-05:00

What a horoscope:
Dear Courtney,Here is your horoscope forMonday, June 15:
Don't overextend yourself today, though it may be hard to avoid the temptation. You need to settle down and let yourself think through every option before choosing one definitively.

Today has been quite the day so far.
-Back pain is still around,possibily gotten worse.
-School was enjoyable,with my teacher ranting about Chewbacca. I'm not going to worry so much about the test grade,but just review and study for the next one better than I did with the first.
-I got a free smoothie,prematurely I might add. That guy was extremely awesome!
-The gym was nice(&sweaty,might I add). I need to make it a point to get back into going regularly.
-Getting a tour of the apartments and getting all of the information turned out WAY better than I had planned for. Daniel and I are crossing our fingers,hoping that a particular deal will be available for our taking! Woot woot!

Here's to homework and hoping the rest of the day goes well!

"An idea is salvation by imagination." -Frank Lloyd Wright

2009-06-13T10:57:00.002-05:00

Funny how this was my horoscope for today:
Keep hunting for a deal if you need to make any purchases today -- you've got to save as much as you can! It's not that there's a major calamity coming, but it's a good idea to rein in the budget now.

After what seemed like the longest week,my emotional and mental tension came to a head yesterday and presented itself in physical form. It started a little on Thursday,but the worst came on Friday. I woke up with an insane lower back pain,and eventually nausea,head and shoulder pain, weakness,chest tightness...and so forth. Come to find out these were symptoms of chronic stress. No fun.

I didn't see much of an end to my irritating,confusing situation until a wonderful idea presented itself to me last night.
Daniel and Timmy looked into,and figured out the cost of moving into this particular apartment,and if it works out, will be very affordable.
I have my fingers crossed that something positive comes of this idea.
It's very much still in the beginning stages,but I'm full of hope,and that's a start.

Today could've been better.

2009-06-11T13:43:00.002-05:00

To start things off,my head and/or neck is making me feel slightly delirious and rather cranky.
My math test-well I could have studied some parts a little more. I totally blanked out on how to do a couple of them.
Next, I got my car worked on only to find out that I had to pay $86 to get it fixed.That was done,long story short.
Then I was asked to go into work. This isn't really much of an issue,but with the previous things contributing,I was not in the mood for anything.
I came home earlier to be told that we are supposedly putting my dog down tomorrow.

Although I was severely crummy feeling at that point,Daniel helped me feel a bit better about all that.

Probable highlights of the day:Getting sushi,getting paid extra to come in to work,and picking up my new glasses.

Between a Rock and ...

2009-06-08T12:01:00.002-05:00

You must do your very best to stay positive when many forces are working against you.

I received this morning what I'd like to call a severe slap in the face,but also a big wake up call.
I got so excited about the prospect of moving out that I've become so unconcerned about the large amount of money I should have set aside beforehand. I guess you could say that I am somewhat of an half-ignorant optimist; I call it hopeful.
The thing is that I am sheltered to a point about certain "life" things that I am still working on learning.

+'s in my life right now:
-Math is going really well. Class is great,my teacher is amazing,and I understand her teaching method. Great teachers=Happy Courtney. There truly aren't enough of them.
-Work is going quite well. I gave up my Sundays(that I had just started working no less)to someone who wanted them, thus giving me my Sunday's back with my Daniel.
-I'm in the process of being admitted to Missouri State,and I'm excited to see how my setup will go for this fall, as well as paying for everything.
-I'm working on becoming more organized.It's quite awesome,really.

-'s at the moment:
-Money. Truly the root of all evil. I am working to do my very best to make sure I have my car and insurance paid,as well as remembering to save money aside,and having money for EVERYTHING else-gas,movies,food,etc.

I decided that I really need to chill out and just let things unfold as they should. I just get so excited and extremely impatient,and I let that get the best of me. I also am getting in the habit of unleashing the green monster far too often. My time will come...eventually.

--------There is not a day I don't think of you,Nana. You will always be the best part of my memories.----------------

Time to get the ball rollin',,,

2009-05-27T10:18:00.003-05:00

So,I'm hoping to keep up on this more than I do with xanga.Goodness,no one really uses it anymore that I know. This looks like more fun anyway.

It's nice to have four days off,especially with the crazy weekend we had at work.

So many things needing to be taken off my to-do list,but namely:
1.Family Pictures with Mr. Watson
2. OTC-related jazz.

Speaking of school,I'm excited for MSU this fall(assuming that everything pans out right).
Why I never just went for teaching in the first place is anyone's guess.
That's ok though,because all I've really wasted is one semester at a school where everyone really did their best at making one feel left out,in every way possible.

On a totally different note,I'm looking forward to Greek food with my Tt and getting my hairs done.Woot!